Living in Dread…

I often tell people that whatever we fear is what we serve, so that the object of our fear basically becomes our god. This morning a passage in Isaiah reminded me of that truth.

“Whom have you so dreaded and feared that you have been false to me, and have neither remembered me nor pondered this in your hearts? Is it not because I have long been silent that you do not fear me?  I will expose your righteousness and your works, and they will not benefit you. When you cry out for help, let your collection [of idols] save you! The wind will carry all of them off, a mere breath will blow them away. But the man who makes me his refuge will inherit the land and possess my holy mountain.” (Is.57:11-13).

“Whom have you so dreaded and feared that you have been false to me…” I’m not sure how much more clear that could be! At the heart of being unfaithful to God is usually a fear of something else (no matter what that something else is, I’d call it an idol). An idol is anything we meditate on, and spend our time trying to appease. For years, I did the dance of fear trying to keep an abusive husband happy so he wouldn’t lash out. I feared him much more than God, and the result was I served him rather than God. In fact, he became my god, because of the way I served him.

Another interesting thing about this passage is “I will expose your righteousness and your works…” Very often people do good works out of fear—they worry what people think and are trying to impress them rather than God. This fear of man is idolatry of the worst sort. It becomes works-based rather than love-based. God does not desire our feeble efforts; he desires our love. From that love, genuine works of righteousness will flow naturally. The ones born of fear of man are wood, hay, and stubble mentioned by Paul in 1 Cor. 3. These works may look wonderful to people, but they cannot stand before the Judge.

This passage should be a wake up call to the people of God. The warning here is not based on actions, but on misplaced fear. The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, and when we are more worried about pleasing him than people or unpleasant circumstances, that is wisdom. Then we will be like the man who built his house upon the rock in in Matthew 7:24-25. No matter what life brings our way, we can overcome because we know the One we fear is in control and his love casts out sinful fear. We can stand firm knowing he is in charge. Sinful fear dreads losing control, and that is why the Israelites sacrificed to idols. They believed that appeasing them would make things run smoothly, and that if they didn’t sacrifice things would go badly. When we live in fear of man, we have a similar mentality. “If I can just…” everything will be ok. We’re trying to maintain control. Yet, the Lord calls us to leave the control in his hands. That is what the fear of the Lord does. It trusts in his goodness for the outcome, and we have nothing to dread.

Lord, help me never dread anything more than I desire to love and please you. Help me to avoid the trap of misplaced fear. Nothing on this earth is more powerful than you, so I need to reserve my fear for you alone. Yet, it is a different sort of fear than dread. It is honoring you above anything else, and resting in your control rather than trying to be in control. You are worthy of all honor and praise. Nothing on earth can ever cause me to be consumed with fear as long as I am consumed with you. Amen

The Blessing of an Undivided Heart

Teach me your way, LORD, that I may rely on your faithfulness; give me an undivided heart, that I may fear your name. Ps. 86:11

It’s interesting that David talks about an undivided heart in relation to fearing God. I believe this is because fear is one of the best tactics of the enemy to destroy our spiritual walk. I’ve always said that whatever we fear will control us—that is why is is so important to fear the Lord. For so long I lived in fear of a man, and as a result he became the god of my life. I knew God was there, and I prayed to him regularly, but my heart was very divided. My first thought when deciding on an action was usually how my husband would respond to it. If it was something I wanted to do, and didn’t think he would like it, I might do it anyway and hide it from him. Still, the bottom line was that my life revolved around him rather than God. My divided heart put God second by default. Unhealthy fear enslaved me. An undivided heart is one that is fully surrendered to the Lord, and fears him more than anything or anyone else.

For many years the phrase “fear of the Lord” was an enigma to me, but it really shouldn’t have been. The type of fear that ruled my life with my ex husband was basically one that filtered nearly every thought through his possible reation. I feared his wrath. Although I have been redeemed from God’s wrath, a healthy fear of him would basically do the same. I would be more concerned about pleasing God than anyone else (including myself).  It is not so much a dread-based fear, but a love-based one. My love for him should far outweigh my love for anything or anyone else, and when it does I will give him control over my life. My heart is undivided, because there is no question that God comes first in every decision I make. He is in control rather than fleeting circumstances or unpredictable people. The wonderful thing about fearing God first is that it leads to peace. He is unchanging and all-loving, which means when I place my life in his hands I don’t need to fear anything else. I am surrendered and he is in control, so whatever happens I can trust him for the outcome. That is the blessing of an undivided heart.

Prayer:

Lord, I pray that my heart will be always undivided — that nothing on this earth will be more important to me than you! You are worthy of my praise, worthy of my fear, and so very good. I can trust you completely. Human nature tends towards fearing circumstances and even people, but Lord I know what a trap that is. That is like building a house on the sand. When the storms of life come, “great is the destruction” of that house. Father I ask that my life will be built upon the rock, because I put you first in everything. “All other ground is sinking sand.” Amen

When All is Stripped Away

He humbled you, causing you to hunger and then feeding you with manna, which neither you nor your fathers had known, to teach you that man does not live on bread alone but on every word that comes from the mouth of the LORD. Your clothes did not wear out and your feet did not swell during these forty years. Know then in your heart that as a man disciplines his son, so the LORD your God disciplines you. (Dt. 8:2-5)

 God delivers us from bondage, but there is a stripping away of earthly comforts that needs to occur for us to understand that he is our source. We are free, but we are still far too self-reliant. I know that has been the case for me. For the first 20 years of my walk with him, I tried to control circumstances, and even to get him to bless my agenda. Things were much the same for the children of Israel. They wanted freedom as long as it was accompanied by worldly comforts, but as soon as they became uncomfortable they began to complain and doubt God. They were led out into a barren wilderness, and even though God provided, the manna was not nearly as satisfying as what they had eaten in Egypt. Here God explains that there was a reason for the way he led them. He allowed comforts to be stripped away in order to humble them, and teach them that their trust was to be in him rather than earthly resources. Hebrews 12:6 tells us that the Lord disciplines those he loves. Even though those who equate victory with pleasant circumstances might question God for leading his children into a wilderness, this passage shows that he had a good agenda for his people. His intention was to humble them and to teach them to trust so that he could bless them. It was to burn out their pride and sense of entitlement. We tell ourselves that we deserve blessing. However, the human heart is wicked and deserves nothing but the wrath of our holy and perfect God. Still, we get his mercy. In his mercy he disciplines us and leads us as his very own children. In his mercy he transfers us out of darkness to light, and from wrath to favor. What an amazing honor! We can certainly trust his good plan for our lives.

Lord, I have been stripped and humbled time and again. I suppose I am slow to learn, but I appreciate that you love me and have a good plan. You are lovingly using these humbling circumstances to teach me to trust you and to recognize that you are my source. You are stripping away my self-reliance and teaching me that I can live by every word that proceeds from your mouth. Thank you for loving me so much. Help me to live in a manner worthy of that calling. Amen

Standing Alone in Faith

That night all the people of the community raised their voices and wept aloud. All the Israelites grumbled against Moses and Aaron, and the whole assembly said to them, “If only we had died in Egypt! Or in this desert! Why is the LORD bringing us to this land only to let us fall by the sword? Our wives and children will be taken as plunder. Wouldn’t it be better for us to go back to Egypt?” And they said to each other, “We should choose a leader and go back to Egypt.” Then Moses and Aaron fell facedown in front of the whole Israelite assembly gathered there. Joshua son of Nun and Caleb son of Jephunneh, who were among those who had explored the land, tore their clothes and said to the entire Israelite assembly, “The land we passed through and explored is exceedingly good. If the LORD is pleased with us, he will lead us into that land, a land flowing with milk and honey, and will give it to us. Only do not rebel against the LORD. And do not be afraid of the people of the land, because we will swallow them up. Their protection is gone, but the LORD is with us. Do not be afraid of them.” (Nu. 14:1-9)

 Standing in faith is never the stance of the masses. It seems to go against every bit of human logic. Ten out of 12 of the Israelite spies came back with negative reports based on fear, but only Joshua and Caleb reported in faith. Only these two would be allowed to enter the Promised Land, and the rest would perish. After the other 10 died, the people who had been swayed by their report decided they would go into the land after all, even when Moses warned against it. The result was complete failure, and the Amalekites and Canaanites chased them out of the land. The bottom line was that they wanted to be in control of the situation. First they fell into fear because of the negative reports of the ten, and when faced with the consequences of their disobedience they decided to “fix it” in their own strength. What a typical reaction. It’s so much easier to barge ahead than to wait on God in faith. It’s also not easy to face the consequences of our sin, so we usually try to figure out how to avoid them. The problem is that our actions generally make things even worse.

The better place to be is standing in faith, and trusting God, even when it seems foolish by human standards. Sometimes the blessing is not immediate, and even if the Israelites had been able to enter the land at this time, they would have faced many battles (just as they would in 40 years). Standing in faith does not guarantee an easy path. In fact, the easier path here would have been to remain in Egypt, where at least all their physical needs were met, (even though they lived in bondage). Isn’t that interesting? They wanted to go back to bondage, because walking by faith into the Promised Land was too hard. Waiting on God is not easy. Believing in spite of circumstances is not easy, but that is the path to blessing. Only the 2 spies who believed would enter the land, and their blessing would be delayed by the unbelief of the majority. Still, they never wavered, and when the time finally came to enter the last, they were blessed beyond all others. Waiting and standing in faith is not easy, but it’s always worth it, because he is faithful.

Lord, I ask you to keep me from being swayed by what seems most logical, especially when it contradicts your calling on my life. You have called me to walk by faith, and sometimes it seems absurd, but I trust in you. I know you have a good plan, and I know in your timing it will all be clear. Help me never choose bondage over the adventure of living by faith. I love you so much, and choose to stand in faith. Amen

Where is God When I’m Suffering?

No matter what we suffer in this life, God is for us and actively involved. Psalm 56:11 tells us that God collects our tears in his bottle. This always reminds me of the memory books I kept for my children when they were young. I saved a lock of hair from their first haircuts, saved the armbands we wore in the hospital, and even took a picture of one’s first Band-Aid for her baby book. I wasn’t able to shield them from all the insults of life, but I do remember that those bad experiences were often useful in teaching them lessons. If they fell down because they were doing something dangerous, they were more careful the next time. Although God does have the power to shield us from all harm, we live in a fallen world and he does not always do it. I believe that is because there are precious lessons to be learned from suffering. How would we understand or appreciate his goodness if we did not have pain and sorrow? We would take it all for granted. As much as I hate trials and tribulation, I have to say that they have been amazing tutors. I have learned so much about his faithfulness, and so much about my weaknesses. I have learned that no matter what happens, he is with me, just as any loving parent would be. He collects my tears in his bottle, and records my sorrows in his memory book. They are precious to him, as I am. He is for me! Many people see suffering as a sign that God doesn’t care, or that he has abandoned them, but it is quite the opposite. When you seek him, you will find he is closest to the brokenhearted (Ps. 34:18). Trouble is not a sign of an uncaring God, but a chance to prove his love.

You keep track of all my sorrows. You have collected all my tears in your bottle. You have recorded each one in your book. On the very day I call to you for help, my enemies will retreat. This I know: God is on my side. O God, I praise your word. Yes, LORD, I praise your word. I trust in God, so why should I be afraid? What can mere mortals do to me? Ps. 56:8-11 NLT

If God is for us, who can be against us? He who did not spare his own Son, but gave him up for us all—how will he not also, along with him, graciously give us all things? Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who then is the one who condemns? No one. Christ Jesus who died—more than that, who was raised to life—is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written: “For your sake we face death all day long; we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.” No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:32-39

Lord, thank you for caring so deeply for us. Even when things are difficult, you lovingly hold us and save our tears. I remember hearing that in ancient times, tears were used to make perfume. The maker would add fragrance to the tears to make something beautiful. That’s exactly what you do. You take our pains and sorrows and turn them into something beautiful. Thank you Lord that nothing is wasted in your kingdom, and that you have good intentions even when bad things happen. I appreciate that so much. Thank you for your tender loving care. Amen

Treasures from Leviticus… Say What!?

I’ve got to admit that reading through Leviticus is not one of favorite pastimes, but I want to be acquainted with the whole counsel of scripture, so I do it anyway. It recently came up in my yearly bible reading plan, and I actually found myself complaining to God about it. Rather than deciding to skip it, I decided to ask him to help me get through it and find something valuable for my spiritual walk. Who knows? Besides the clear references to Messiah Jesus in feasts of the Lord in chapter 23, I could possibly find some other nuggets of truth for daily living. I realize that the temple was a shadow of Jesus’ sacrifice. The book of Hebrews seems to connect the dots fairly well. However, there is still so much I struggle to get through in this book. Take all the blood for example. When you read it, you realize what a bloody place that temple had to have been. The pathway to the Holy of Holies was covered with blood. For a woman who gags over raw meat, it’s just not a pleasant read. Yet, Hebrews 9:22 tells us that without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness of sin. The penalty for sin is death and separation from our holy and perfect God (Rom. 6:23). In the Old Testament, the priest laid his hands on the animals, and the animals bore the penalty for the people. When Jesus laid down his life, the sacrifice was made once for all, and animal sacrifice became unnecessary. Interestingly, the temple was destroyed within a generation of Jesus’ death, and sacrifices have not been made in Israel since then. He was the perfect, spotless Lamb who takes away the sins of the world. Because of his sacrifice, we can come boldly before his throne (Heb.4:16).

Under the old covenant, only the high priest could come into his presence only once a year, and he ran the risk of dying if he failed to follow every detail of instruction on atoning for sin. However, now “we have been made holy through the sacrifice of the body of Jesus Christ once for all” (Heb. 10:10). I find that completely amazing! In a world that is so tainted by sin and evil, we have been washed and made holy— even as he is holy. “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God” (2 Co. 5:21). That just blows my mind. Can you believe that you are the righteousness of God? That you are holy? I have a hard time wrapping my head around that, because I know how weak I am. I fail daily, and yet my amazing and gracious Lord sees me without spot or blemish. Wow! I truly do stand amazed!

This morning as I read chapter 14 of Leviticus, I found myself pondering verse 14. The verse pertains to lepers who had been cleansed. Many believe leprosy to be a picture of sin. The priest is to take some of the blood of the guilt offering and put it on the lobe of the right ear of the one to be cleansed, on the thumb of their right hand and on the big toe of their right foot. When I did a little research I saw that Moses had done the same thing to Aaron and his sons when they began making sacrifices in the wilderness tabernacle. After the sacrifice had been made, the blood was applied to these very specific areas. Obviously, we hear with our ears. Faith comes from hearing (Rom. 10:17), and Jesus often ended his messages with “If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” Obviously, our hearing has to be redeemed so that we can hear his message. The world’s message is loud and clear, but hearing and understanding spiritual things does not come naturally. In these Leviticus passages, the blood was mixed with oil to anoint the ears. Oil in the Old Testament seems to represent the Holy Spirit; so not only do we need redemption to hear his voice, we need his Spirit. These things are foreign to those who have not been redeemed.

After anointing the right ear, the priest would anoint the thumb of the right hand and the toe of their right foot. As I thought about this, it seems the hands represent doing. Redemption involves a change in what we believe, but “faith without works is dead” (Jas. 2:20). Those who have been set free become his instruments of grace to a lost and dying world. This is not about following a bunch of rules, but putting action to our love for God and others.

Finally, the priest would anoint the foot of the cleansed person, which would seem to represent going or walking. Galatians 5:16 tells us that if we walk in the Spirit we will not fulfill the lusts of our flesh. It is so easy to follow our own desires and once again, without his Spirit, we cannot do it. We must daily surrender our flesh to his Spirit, and keep in step with him. Those who have been redeemed by the blood of the Lamb are empowered to “walk in newness of life” (Rom. 6:4). As his children, we are called to be his hands and feet in this world. We should reflect his goodness and grace in all we say and do. Thank God it is not dependent on us, but his finished work on the cross and his Spirit. When we fall in love with the one who loved us and gave his life for us, we will be forever changed. He imparts his Spirit into us, and as we daily surrender to him, we will listen for his voice, do his will, and walk in his ways to impact this dark world for his kingdom.

Oh Father, I am so grateful for your provision. Thank you for sending Jesus to take the penalty for my sin, and for sending your Spirit to empower me to walk in your ways rather than mine. Thank for the love, joy and peace that flow from walking in your Spirit. You have freed me from myself! Hallelujah! I praise you and ask that you will help me to daily yield my ears, my hands and my feet to you so that my life will make an eternal difference in this world. Amen

Sacrifice & Gratitude

And when your children ask you, ‘What does this ceremony mean to you?’ then tell them, ‘It is the Passover sacrifice to the LORD, who passed over the houses of the Israelites in Egypt and spared our homes when he struck down the Egyptians.’ ” Then the people bowed down and worshiped. (Ex. 12:26-27)

Up until this point, the Israelites had seen God’s hand moving on their behalf, but final deliverance would mean the death of many firstborn sons. Their freedom was purchased at a great cost, and their worship here seems to indicate they recognized that reality. They had to realize that God seriously loved them. “Since you are precious and honored in my sight, and because I love you, I will give people in exchange for you, nations in exchange for your life” (Is. 43:3)– what a sobering thought! Surely they must have had relationships with many of the families who lost children. They acted as their servants, and interacted with them daily. Now they would not only gain their freedom, but also plunder the treasures of the ones they served, and leave them grieving their lost children. Of course, this foreshadows God’s sacrifice of his own son on the cross. My thought is that the Israelites must have felt so unworthy of the sacrifices made on their behalf. I know that is how I feel about Christ’s sacrifice on my behalf. It is beyond comprehension that a life, especially a life so precious would die to give me life. Interestingly, many of the lives that were sacrificed in Egypt were the most innocent- babies died. Surely, they did nothing worthy of death. Again, the reality had to be extremely sobering. The only logical response would be worship.

When I think about the great sacrifice of Jesus on my behalf, I am often overwhelmed. It’s something that never gets old for me. Even as God told the Israelites to keep this event as a special memorial, we are to keep the cross ever before us. Passover became the beginning of the year for Israel, and salvation is the beginning of our new lives. Out of death comes life, and the recipient of life should respond in utter worship.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. (Rom. 12:1)

Lord, help me to keep the cross ever before me, and to remember the sacrifice made on my behalf. I did nothing to deserve it, and yet you loved me enough to do it anyway. I stand amazed. Let my life be a constant act of worship, knowing that you loved me so much you gave up your only Son. Thank you!! I am so grateful, and I bow down before you now. Amen

Holding Nothing Back

“I am poured out like water, and all my bones are out of joint. My heart has turned to wax; it has melted within me.” Ps. 22:14

Therefore I will give him a portion among the great, and he will divide the spoils with the strong, because he poured out his life unto death, and was numbered with the transgressors. Is. 53:12

 There are days when I think I have nothing left to give. I become so exhausted by the demands and tugs of world that I nearly shut down. Usually I try to figure out a way to pamper myself so that I can recharge, but when I think about it nothing I have faced has ever required everything I have. Even when I was experiencing the worst abuse, I was holding on to every vestige of control I could muster. When it seemed utterly hopeless, I cried out to God for help, and the comfort I received was that he completely understood what I was experiencing. He assured me that he knew what it was like to be betrayed, abandoned and abused. The thing that struck me in that moment was that he chose it! I certainly would have done anything to avoid it, but in his great love for us, he completely emptied himself (Phil. 2:7) to the point of death. He held nothing back.

In counseling it’s not uncommon to find people who are upset with God. They are angry that he is allowing them to suffer unjustly, or that he didn’t stop the latest affliction in their lives. Many have faced one horrible experience after another to the point I become heartbroken, and find myself joining them in asking God why he allowed so much misery. Yet, we often forget that our God did not merely leave us here to suffer alone. He came and entered into our suffering to the fullest extent possible. Sometimes knowing that is all we need to know, because there is great comfort in the “fellowship of his suffering” (Phil. 3:10). That is why support groups are often so helpful, because we know we are not alone in our pain. We do not have a God who abandons us and watches indifferently from heaven, but a God who loved us enough to sacrifice everything because of his love for us. When he poured himself out in pain, he was simultaneously pouring his great love onto us. Choosing gratitude for his sacrifice during difficult times can help us overcome the urge to question why and see God as unfair.

In this fallen world, there are no easy answers, and I’ve learned that going down the “why” trail can be very dangerous. It will lead us to bitterness and hopelessness. The better question to ask is “What would you have me learn in this Lord, and how would you like to use this situation for good?” We may never understand why some things have happened on this side of eternity, but we can be sure that He has a redemptive purpose. Even as Jesus endured the shame of the cross, because of the joy set before him (Heb. 12:2), we can endure knowing that he will work everything together for good, and that his plans for us are good (Rom. 8:28, Jer. 29:11). We know that we have a God who specializes in redemption. There is no pit so deep that he cannot redeem. There is nothing he cannot use for good.

After Hurricane Katrina, I went down to the Gulf on 2 separate mission trips to help with the clean up efforts. I met people who had been traumatized beyond words. Some had lost family members, and all of their worldly possessions. Their homeowners insurance did not cover their losses, because they did not have flood insurance. I went because my heart had been broken as I watched the sheer anguish of it all on television after the storm. When I arrived, I saw multitudes of children dealing with PTSD and was even more broken. Yet, over the course of that week as God’s people came in by the hundreds, I saw God’s redemption at work. Children who would have grown up in violent, poverty stricken neighborhoods were relocated to better areas. Churches adopted and helped whole families get a fresh start in life. I saw multitudes of volunteers showering traumatized children with healing love, and some of them were eternally changed as a result of that awful storm.

That is the power of our God. He can take the most horrible situations and use them for good, and the ultimate example of that is the cross. His great sacrifice on our behalf reconciled us to God when we were hopelessly alienated. Not only that, as he willingly emptied himself he experienced the worst of human suffering. The penalty for our rebellion was poured on him, and though we continue to live in a fallen world, we do not live without hope. Knowing that our creator would come down, take on vulnerable flesh and then fully pour himself out for us should change our hearts. Our response should be to surrender our all to the One who gave his all for us. It should fill us with gratitude and comfort to know that we are fully loved, and that even though we will suffer in this world, he has overcome it, so that whatever we experience here is only a shadow preparing us for his eternal joy.

For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen, since what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal. (2 Cor. 4:17-18)

When Evil Seems to Triumph

For by now I could have stretched out my hand and struck you and your people with a plague that would have wiped you off the earth. But I have raised you up for this very purpose, that I might show you my power and that my name might be proclaimed in all the earth. (Ex. 9:15-16)

These words to pharaoh in the story of the exodus show that even when evil seems strong, God can use it for his purposes. It’s interesting that in the very beginning the Egyptian magicians could perform the same signs as Moses and Aaron, but it did not take long for that to change as Moses’ signs began to overpower the magicians’. Even so, pharaoh refused to soften his heart. He continued to set himself up as god, and refused to bow to the one true God. As the plagues increased in intensity, he began to feign repentance, but as soon as the plague reversed he backed out of his promise to let the children of Israel go. After living with abuse for 23 years, I recognized that dynamic very well.

Two things are noteworthy here. As God stated above, he could have wiped out the entire nation and delivered his people, but he did not. Just like there were times I really wished God would have just removed my abuser entirely from my life, but he did not. Second, Moses relays the message to pharaoh that he was sovereign over nothing, instead he was merely raised up to show God’s power and might. Pharaoh was doing everything in his power to hang onto control, and God was using his pathetic efforts to reveal his own. This is what I had to learn as I continued to struggle for my freedom those years ago. I was the one giving my abuser power by continuing to fear him more than God. Once I let go and put things in his hands, I realized that God had used the struggles for my good.

During the final plagues, we see that many of the Egyptians feared God, and heeded Moses’ warnings. Others did not. Even in judgment, God showed mercy to those honored him. By the time the Israelites left, they were loaded down with riches given to them by the Egyptians. God actually used pharaoh’s hardness of heart to reveal his power and goodness. It’s interesting that when God called Moses and Aaron to lead the people out of Egypt, it did not happen quickly or easily. Instead they faced many obstacles; even counterfeit miracles by the Egyptians. Just because they were called did not mean an end to struggles. In fact, it seemed to increase them.

Many times, we believe that just because God has called us to do something, he is going to pave the way, and make it smooth sailing for us. Instead we often face greater trials. However, he uses these difficulties so that his power and his name “might be proclaimed in all the earth.” God did not just reach the hearts of the Israelites with these displays. Many Egyptians came to honor him as well. If he had just wiped the nation out, that would not have happened. If he had wiped out my abuser, I would never know Him like I do now. God always has redemptive purposes in mind, especially when it seems that evil is strong. He uses bad things for his good purposes, and to cause people to come to know him. There is nothing more precious in this life.

“What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ” (Ph. 3:8).

Lord, help me to never become discouraged when bad things happen, and never to lose hope when evil seems to triumph over good. Remind me that your redemptive purposes are always being accomplished even in the midst of suffering and evil. You will show your goodness to those who choose to seek you, and you work all things together for good for those who love you. I am so blessed to be your child. Amen

When People Hurt Us

I’ve always loved the story of Joseph in Genesis (37-50), because it is a story of redemption. In fact, I often tell his story to children who have witnessed and experienced domestic violence, because Joseph had some rather traumatic experiences and overcame them. While the world tells us that such trauma sets us up for a lifetime of misery, I believe this account shows that, with God, that does not have to be the case. Joseph entrusted himself to God in spite of his circumstances, and recognized that God’s plan for his life included using the trauma he experienced for good purposes. Even though he was abused, betrayed and suffered severe injustice, Joseph recognized and proclaimed faith in God’s good and loving plan.

“So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God. He made me father to Pharaoh, lord of his entire household and ruler of all Egypt.” (Gen. 45:8)

“As for you, you meant evil against me, but God meant it for good in order to bring about this present result, to preserve many people alive.” (Get. 50:20)

Time and time again Joseph recognized God in his negative circumstances. It is obvious that he was hurt by them, but he still acknowledged God’s hand in them all. He could have easily become bitter and angry with God during this time. After all, many injustices had occurred. He had every right to be upset. His circumstances just weren’t fair, but he continued to entrust himself to God.

We have a choice people hurt us. We can allow it to make us bitter, and give them power over us, or we can let God make us better and realize he is ultimately sovereign over it all. This is not to say that we shouldn’t get out of an abusive relationship when we can! Scripture is filled with godly people who ran from harm. (See Ac. 9:25 and 1 Sam. 19:10).  Jesus himself escaped harm until it was his appointed time to die (Jn. 10:39). However, even when people do us harm; he has the power to use it for good. No life experience is wasted when we belong to him. I think that coming to understand this is one of the keys to healing from abuse. Our feeble minds cannot see the long-term agenda, but he can.

There have been many times that I thought people had control of my life, but in reality God was still on the throne. I assumed people had all the power, but he wanted me to surrender it, and allow him to use it for my good. That is what he has always done. Many times in my life I have questioned why bad things have happened. I have wished I could go back and do something different so the outcome would be different. I have wished that I could control it all. I have lamented that people were hurting me, and yet when I look back, I see very clearly how God used it for good in my life. No, being abused was not good. Being betrayed by loved ones was not good, but as I entrusted myself to God in each situation, he was so faithful to use all the bad for good. I have a relationship with him that I wouldn’t trade for the entire world. He has been completely faithful in it all.

When I look back at the worst of times, they were also the best of times spiritually. Jesus held me and spoke to my wounded heart in the most awful circumstances. My experiences have been amazing tutors that have worked together for good in my life (Rom. 8:28). I have learned to stop asking why these days, and instead ask, “God, what do you want to teach me in this?” He always shows me, and in due time, he always lifts me back up. What an amazing God we serve!

Thank you Lord that you are sovereign over hurtful people. Even when you allow bad to happen, you always have a redemptive agenda in mind for your children. I praise you that nothing is wasted in your economy, and stand amazed that everything can be redeemed and used for good. This life is but a breath, but you have an eternal agenda that surpasses anything this world has to offer. I can rest in your goodness, even when things seem bad and out of control. In reality, they never are. Amen

Laughing with God

Abraham fell facedown; he laughed and said to himself, “Will a son be born to a man a hundred years old? Will Sarah bear a child at the age of ninety?” And Abraham said to God, “If only Ishmael might live under your blessing!” Then God said, “Yes, but your wife Sarah will bear you a son, and you will call him Isaac. I will establish my covenant with him as an everlasting covenant for his descendants after him. (Gen. 17:17-19)

 Abraham and Sarah were already very old, and Sarah was past the age of childbearing. So Sarah laughed to herself as she thought, “After I am worn out and my lord is old, will I now have this pleasure?” (18:11-12)

Is anything too hard for God? (18:14).

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Sometimes God just makes me laugh. I have walked with him long enough to know that he rarely does things the way I expect, but beyond that, his ways often seem downright crazy from a human perspective. Years ago, when I met my husband, I started to get the idea that God had put him in my path, in spite of my protests. I had lived through abuse, and really wasn’t open for a new relationship, especially not with somebody who was so…well, so flawed and human. Yet, the more I objected, the more God seemed to change my heart and convict me of my judgmental attitudes. I continued to voice my complaints in the form of prayers to God. Oddly enough after each prayer my soon-to-be husband would, without any provocation from me, volunteer the answer to my prayer concern. This happened 3 specific times to the point I was just dumbfounded. If I hadn’t been praying silently, I would’ve thought the man had my house bugged. I struggled for a few weeks in prayer, and the answers kept coming in ways that blew my mind. Finally, when it became undeniable that God was in it, I said, “Lord, this is not what I expected!” In my spirit I could almost hear him laughing and asking me, “When have I ever worked in the way you expected?” Good question! Because as long as I have known him, his ways have surely been higher than mine, and have never gone according to my preconceived notions. I couldn’t help but join God and laugh at myself for forgetting that wonderful truth.

As I read the story of Abraham and Sarah this morning, I recognized the all too familiar dynamics. In Genesis 15:6 Abraham believed God’s promise that he would be the father of many nations, and it was credited to him as righteousness. By chapter 16, Sarah and Abraham decided to help God out. Sarah was past her childbearing years, so even though they believed God, they figured he was going to work in a way that seemed possible on human terms. I’ve done this many times. “Sure I believe you God, but obviously, you must have meant you would bless me this way.” The problem is that when we decide to “help” God it often complicates the situation greatly, as in the case of Hagar. We think we are helping, but usually we are hurting ourselves by failing to wait on his best. When God came back and let Abraham and Sarah know they were wrong in their assumptions, they both laughed. God’s response was to tell them their future son’s name would be Isaac, which means, “he laughs.” Isn’t that great? For the rest of their lives, they would be reminded that they laughed at God’s promise. I can’t help but think that God was laughing back at them. They were limiting him to the realm of human possibility, and he was about to show them that mortal limitations are nothing to him. I’m sure he takes great pleasure in doing that. Like any good parent, he enjoys teaching his children. And what a lesson it was! By this this point both had lived long, full lives and knew how things work in this world. So when God showed up with something completely unexpectedly, the result was laughter. They were laughing at how preposterous it was, and yet I am sure they both felt a twinge of hope.

That is how it has been in my life. When God shows up unexpectedly I shake my head and laugh at how absurd it seems, but I also know that something wonderful just might happen. These things don’t happen every day. If they did we wouldn’t laugh, because they wouldn’t seem impossible. We live in a world bound by limitations, but every now and then God comes in and blows them to smithereens. It’s not something we can contrive or force, but for those who walk faithfully with him, it is bound to happen every once and a while. Sometimes the absurdity requires action on our behalf, so we could possibly end up looking pretty foolish too.

When my sister was young, she got caught up in a pretty harmful lifestyle. I had been praying diligently for her salvation and deliverance. One day she called to tell me she had been in a motorcycle accident, and was home from work unable to walk. After we got off the phone, I got the strongest impression to go pray for her healing, and as much as I tried to fight it, I couldn’t shake it. That night our church had an evangelist speaking, and this crazy thought kept nagging me that if I would go pray for her healing, and then get her to church, she would commit her life to God. Crazy!! I argued, “Lord, who do you think I am, Oral Roberts?” But as crazy as the whole idea seemed, I had enough concern for my sister and enough hope in God to act on it. I called my mom, who had faith to pray for anything, and she agreed to drive the hour with me to go and pray for healing. When we arrived, we briefly explained to Paula that we were going to pray for her healing. Being a captive audience, she had little choice but to agree, so we laid hands on her and prayed. Nothing happened! I began to wonder if I missed God. In fact, with all the pain meds she was on, she actually fell asleep. Mom and I looked at each other wondering if we should go or stay. We decided to stay and chatted for about 15 minutes. Suddenly, Paula woke up and ran to the bathroom! The knee that was swollen and unable to bend earlier was moving just fine! When she came out of the bathroom, we pointed out that her leg was better, and her eyes got as wide as saucers. I then suggested that since God healed her, she might want to come to church with us that night and thank him. She agreed, and sure enough, at church she committed her life to Jesus. She has never been the same since, and it all started with a laughable thought that I feel sure God planted in my mind.

True faith will inevitably bring you to moments that will seem absolutely absurd, foolish and even laughable. Like Abraham and Sarah you will find yourself asking, “Really God, are you kidding?” Surely the father of our faith and his wife had prayed for decades to have a child, but it was not until all hope seemed lost that God showed up. That’s just what he does. I don’t know about you, but I’d say that reveals a pretty good sense of humor on his part. Just when we think we have it all figured out, he comes in and completely turns all of our perceptions upside down. He does it to remind us that even though we are limited by time, space and brokenness, this world is not all there is. We have a God who lives outside the boundaries of the earth, and occasionally gives us a glimpse of life beyond it by miraculously suspending the rules of nature. Can you imagine the twinkle in his eye, the smile on his face, and even the chuckle in his voice as he gently reminds us that he is so much greater than anything here in the temporal realm? I love Jesus’ words in John 16:33, “These things I have spoken to you, that in Me you may have peace. In the world you will have tribulation; but be of good cheer, I have overcome the world.” Cheer up! Maybe even stop and laugh for a moment. Take joy in the One who delights in you and invites you to share in his joy. A life of faith is one of laughter and surprises. What an awesome privilege we have to share it with our amazing God!

Running to Rest

Oh Lord, time just flies by, and I continue to spin my wheels on things that don’t matter! It’s a vicious cycle. I get overwhelmed with all I need to do, skimp on my time with You, and get busy. I then realize that the good things I chose to do were not the most important things. The only solution is to jump off the hamster wheel, and force myself to get quiet long enough to hear your voice. It’s not enough to check off a box with scripture reading and a quick prayer. You haven’t left me here without guidance, and I know how to hear your voice. My problem is that I don’t take the time. Truly the spirit is willing, but the flesh is weak. I am fully aware of my limitations and weaknesses. It would be disheartening if I didn’t know that You specialize in revealing your strength through weak vessels. Hallelujah for that! So once again I come to You asking for mercy and strength to overcome myself. Help me to be completely yielded, and please help me get past the foolish notion that something I “have to” do is important enough to rush through my time with You. Your patience amazes me. I know how weak I am, and yet You pour grace over me and multitudes of your other imperfect children every day. Thank You! I am so grateful to be your child. Help me to walk in step with your Spirit today and everyday. That is goal for this new year. There is nothing more important, so help me to walk in that truth. Amen

My dear child, I have abundant patience, because I know that plans I have for you will be fulfilled. The final outcome isn’t really up to you little one. I will be faithful to complete the work I began in you. Obviously you should never use that as an excuse for idleness or disobedience. However, you can rest in knowing that, rather than beating yourself up for being human. I do not expect perfection—always remember that I look at the heart. A heart that is fully devoted to Me will act, but if you stumble in the process I will not scold you. Delight in Me, and I will give you the desires of your heart. That means I will form the desires in your heart, and I will bring them to pass. Rather than loading yourself down with the burden of doing, come to Me and let those burdens go. Let me carry them, even as I carry you (Is. 46:4). Remember that in my economy being is so much more important than doing, but as you progressively become a sanctified vessel for my kingdom, good works will follow. If they do not, then you need to examine yourself to see if you are in the faith. I do not condemn you, so come and find rest from your self-condemnation now.

 Rest in Me dear child. I love you more than you can even imagine. Rest in my love, and you will find all the strength you need there. Ironically, you must strive to enter into my rest (Heb. 4:11). The only way to walk in the Spirit is to hold onto Me. Do not rush ahead, but wait for my move. Remember that the key is to keep your eyes fixed on Me. That is something you cannot do if you are looking at other things all the time, nor can you do it if you looking at yourself. Successfully finishing a race depends on keeping your eyes on the finish line. I am the author and finisher of your faith, so look to Me, or you will find yourself running towards the wrong things. My desire is for you to finish strong dear one. There is some discipline involved in that, but discipline alone is never enough. If you do not do it in love, it is nothing but legalism. Every day I ask you to come back to your first Love. When you first fall in love, it is easy to focus on the object of your love, but over time you begin to lose the enthusiasm you once had. If you aren’t careful, it’s easy to let the little irritants in life overshadow the same relationship that once held you in awe. It’s easy to begin to perceive awesome as common. Do not let that happen my child. The ones who accomplish the most for my kingdom have one thing in common. They never lose their passion for Me. Wandering eyes indicate divided passions, so return to your first love daily. As you spend time in my presence, I will rekindle your passion. You cannot manufacture it on your own. That will only lead to weariness. When you act out of love and passion for Me, you may become physically weary, but you will find rest for your soul. So strive to spend time in worship; then watch and see what I will do.

When Everything is Shaken

For me, the past year has been a year of intense shaking. It hasn’t been quite as traumatic as “the great shaking” that occurred 20 years ago when I finally became a disciple rather than a mere believer, but it has been extremely difficult. I have grieved, I have questioned God, I have questioned myself, and I have come to realize that I bring nothing to the table in my relationship with the Most High. He is my strength and source—He is simply everything to me. The thought of life without Him is beyond dreadful. How do people do it? Sometimes when you have walked with God for a long time, you tend to get complacent. You forget that you depend on Him for everything. You take his blessings for granted, as though they are inevitable. They are not.

Nothing on this side of eternity is constant, only He is. I am sure He allows these times of shaking to teach us complete and utter dependence. After all, what else is there to hold onto when all the temporary things are being shaken? Not only is He the sole constant in life, He is the only all good and all loving one in the universe. He can be trusted. I can lay all my burdens and failures at his feet and wait for his amazing redemption. He has given beauty for ashes and turned mourning into dancing on multiple occasions in my life. I am so grateful to be his child. I would not trade that with all the pleasant circumstances in the world. After all they will simply fade away.

So right now, even though life remains difficult, I am putting my armor on, and I am fighting the battle in the strength He gives. I am boldly holding on to the One who is worthy, and trusting him for the good purpose He intends in the midst of this mess. Part of this upheaval has been to direct me towards a ministry that has been on my heart for years. The call has become stronger than ever this year, but I have found myself saying it’s just too big. This morning while reading The Circle Maker, I came across this. “Too often we let how get in the way of what God wants us to do. We can’t figure out how to do what God has called us to do, so we don’t do it at all” (p. 49). That’s exactly what I’ve done until this year when I stepped back from a sure income to a less demanding business in order to launch a ministry– although I still have no idea of how it will happen. This year He has shown me that just about everything in life is impossible without his amazing grace and providence. I have to live in complete dependence on him for everything. So if I am going to believe him for something small, I might as well believe for something big. For him, everything is possible, and though it seems big to me, it’s nothing for him. I don’t just believe, but I know He is at work. I am waiting, and I know I will not be disappointed, because He is so good!

His voice shook the earth at that time, but now He has promised, Yet once more I will shake not only the earth but also heaven. This expression, “Yet once more,” indicates the removal of what can be shaken—that is, created things—so that what is not shaken might remain. Therefore, since we are receiving a kingdom that cannot be shaken, let us hold on to grace. By it, we may serve God acceptably, with reverence and awe, for our God is a consuming fire. Heb. 12:26-29

Therefore humble yourselves under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you in due time, casting all your care upon Him, for He cares for you^. Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you. 1 Pet. 5:6-10

Time to Rest

Lord, this morning I decided to look at Ephesians to try and help my mind get a better grasp of all the blessings I have in You. The description of what You have provided for your children in chapters one and two always just blows me away, and I realize that I am not walking in the abundance You offer. You have blessed us with every spiritual blessing in the heavenly realms, have redeemed us through grace that You have lavished on us, chosen us to be holy and blameless before the world began, adopted us as your very own children through the kind intention of your will, and made know to us the mystery of your will. We are your very own possession, and You have given us your Spirit as a pledge. At the end of chapter one, Paul prays:

“That the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of glory, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and of revelation in the knowledge of him, having the eyes of your hearts enlightened, that you may know what is the hope to which he has called you, what are the riches of his glorious inheritance in the saints, and what is the immeasurable greatness of his power toward us who believe, according to the working of his great might that he worked in Christ when he raised him from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly places.”

It just overwhelms me every time I read that, and I long to walk in the fullness of my calling or the fullness of your power. I decided to meditate on this book for a while so that perhaps the eyes of my heart will be enlightened. In Philippians 3:10 Paul talks about knowing him and the power of his resurrection, but then he talks about knowing the fellowship of his suffering. He then said even though he had not fully attained all that Christ had attained for him, he was pressing on towards that high calling.

That is what I want to do Lord. Show me how to press forward, and to forget what is behind. Do not let yesterday’s heartaches and struggles prevent today’s victories. Help me to understand the incredible calling I have as your child. It is simply miraculous! I know it. Many times I have tapped into you great power, but I do not stay there habitually. Teach me to walk in your Spirit, and to press forward. That requires an active stance on my part. Pressing forward means that I am determined, and steadfast in my resolve. Father today, help me press forward towards that amazingly high calling in Christ. Thank You many times over for what You have provided me through Jesus. I have been transferred from death to life, and made part of your family. Never let me take that for granted. I am in awe! Today, help me appropriate your blessings in every aspect of life. I praise You for who You are, and thank You for who I am because of Jesus. Hallelujah!

Sweet child, you are the apple of my eye (Zec. 2:8). I am always watching you and listening to your cries (Ps. 34:15). Cling to Me (Jer. 13:11), and you will naturally walk in the abundant life and blessings I offer. You are still too affected by your circumstances—the struggles you face are intended to show you that. When you focus on troubles, they rule you. When you focus on Me, I will carry you and give you peace that passes human comprehension (Ph. 4:7). It makes no sense in the eyes of the world when you live that way; yet it when you are able to overcome circumstances it draws people to Me and I am glorified. When you look anxiously about and become tossed to and fro by life, you are glorifying the problems. Even though the children of Israel had seen my glory, their unholy fear of the false gods of the nations kept them from walking in my blessings. Surely none of them desired to sacrifice their children to Molech—they did it out of fear. What are you afraid of? Whatever it is, it becomes your master. That is why you must fear Me. However, the fear of the Lord is not associated with punishment or panic. It is honoring Me above anything else that tries to exalt itself in your life, and casts out all other fear, because you know that you are secure in my love (2 Cor. 10:5, 1 Jn. 4:18). Yes, I realize the problems are big, but I am bigger. Remember that my purposes cannot be thwarted (Job 42:2). Since my will is your desire, you can rest assured that I will work all of these circumstances together for good (Rom. 8:28), but holding on to fear and the need for control can postpone the victory. You must surrender this completely dear child. I will not force you to let go, but I am standing here waiting for you to cast your cares on Me. I AM the answer; so stop looking anxiously around you for another solution (Is. 41:10). As you press forward, be diligent to enter into the rest I offer (Heb. 4:11). Do not let unbelief keep you from it. This is a choice dear one. Choose to reject fear and unbelief. Choose to cling to Me instead, because I am faithful. Hold on to Me, and I will lead you into victory.

Just Another Bump in the Road

Lord, help me. I am so needy. Circumstances completely stressful and out of control right now. I feel like there is a vice on my chest. Please help Lord! Come to my rescue. Without You I am so sunk. Change me, so that I am not shaken by circumstances, but rather overwhelmed as I choose to stand in your powerful presence. I am weary and heavy laden, so I come to You seeking rest for my soul. I cannot handle this without You! You have been so faithful to answer my prayers in the past, so I ask You to intervene now, to quiet my anxious thoughts, and help me to soar above this storm. So many times You have helped me do that. It is never easy, but I know I can choose to abide in You even in the midst of trouble. Forgive me for trying to take control before looking to You. That’s such a foolish move, especially when I have no possible of hope of controlling anything. I ask you to give me grace and wisdom to respond to everyone involved in your perfect love, and in the interim let me abide in the Vine. Take the reins Lord Jesus. I am at the end of myself and ask for You to take over.

Dear daughter, I am here and I have a plan. It does not depend on you, and it won’t be thwarted by anyone. You must listen for my voice, and seek my wisdom now. Do not respond in your flesh, but seek Me first and I will put proper responses in your heart. Regardless of what people say and do, you are to walk in the Spirit. To do any less will only worsen matters. You cannot add a thing to this situation in your own strength, so bring it to Me and let me handle it for you. My yoke is easy and my burden is light. Come find rest in Me. These burdens are nothing compared to my strength, and they are only temporary. Remember to set your eyes on the things that are eternal. Set your mind on things above, and not the fleeting things of earth (Col. 3:2). Remember that I understand your struggles, because I have struggled even more. Consider the hostility I endured for the sake of those I love, and do not lose heart. Even as I endured for the joy set before Me, you can endure (Heb. 12:1-3). Remember my promise to work all things together for your good, and you will not be overcome by this bump in the road. That is all it is dear one. It may slow you down, but nothing can stop you as long as you hold onto Me. I will take care of this for you, and am not intimidated in the least. Your calling in this is to learn your lesson well. Learn to overcome evil with good (Rom. 12:21), and learn to wait on Me. You are precious in my sight, and I am always working on your behalf. That does not mean the road will be easy, but it means you will reach the destination and that every trial will better equip you for the journey. Trust Me, believe my promises, and I will get you there.