When Anger Takes Over

Today’s post is an excerpt from Chapter 12 of my book, Called to Peace: A Survivor’s Guide to Finding Peace and Healing After Domestic Abuse. Whether you’ve been through an abusive relationship or not, life is often unfair and it’s easy to find yourself overwhelmed with anger, but God offers a way out. My prayer is that the words in this chapter will help you connect to His freeing truth.

Anger

In my years of counseling victims of domestic violence, I have met some pretty angry people, and in many cases, their stories have angered me as well. Domestic violence can be unimaginably cruel, and it is difficult to hear the accounts without feeling upset about the injustice of it all. Quite often, victims are not only injured by their spouses, but they find very little support when they reach out for help. The judicial system frequently favors perpetrators, who tend to have greater financial resources, and often seem much more composed in court. Even churches can make matters worse for victims when they don’t understand the dynamics of abuse or interpret scriptures on marital roles harshly. For victims, insult is added to injury on a regular basis.

Living with abuse gives us plenty of reason to be angry, but sometimes our anger becomes sinful and destructive. Unfortunately, when that happens we often find ourselves living with negative consequences. Proverbs 22:24-25 warns, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared.” We can easily find ourselves compounding the pain and misery of an already bad situation by allowing anger to rule our hearts. It is easy to find yourself responding with anger when you’ve lived with it day in and day out but letting yourself to be consumed by it will merely worsen the situation.

Becoming upset over violence and injustice is not only understandable, but it is also normal. Ephesians 4:26-27 seems to imply that anger is common but warns “In your anger do not sin”: Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.” The problem isn’t becoming angry as much as it is failing deal with it quickly. When we stay angry and allow it to control us, we are headed for trouble. It seems that unresolved anger opens our lives to Satan’s destructive schemes (Eph. 4:26-27).

There was a time when I became so angry, I began to suffer physical symptoms. Even worse, I found myself snapping at my children for the littlest things. Rather than being able to offer them the love and support they needed to get through the devastating events they were experiencing, I found myself so consumed with anger that I had nothing left to give. The problem with maintaining anger is that you can’t simply contain it to one area of your life. It spills out onto others and “defiles many” (Heb. 12:15). It is like a poison that damages every relationship in your life, including the most important one of all—your relationship with God. During this period, I found myself feeling as if my prayers were hitting the ceiling. Although I continued to reach out to God, resentment controlled me rather than his Spirit, which left me very isolated from my Helper. I needed to learn how to handle my anger biblically.

Divine vs. Human Anger

Scripture clearly tells us there are things that anger God, and we are created in His image as emotional beings. God’s wrath is provoked by sin, and He hates violence. In Genesis, God told Noah “I am going to put an end to all people, for the earth is filled with violence because of them” (6:13). It was enough to cause God to want to destroy His own creation, so it is certainly understandable when we get upset about it. Even the second part of Malachi 2:16, “God hates divorce” indicates He also hates it when a husband deals violently and unfaithfully with his spouse. The Bible is filled with passages proclaiming our Creator’s hatred of injustice and unfaithfulness. As His children, we should naturally hate the evil that he hates. Our problem is that we usually carry it a little too far. Rather than turning the situation over to God, and leaving justice in His hands, we try to control it.

In reality, much human anger reveals a lack of trust in God. We may be questioning why He has allowed bad things to happen in our lives, and if He really cares. In our minds, we profess that He is good, but in our hearts, we doubt it. We know that His Word commands us to forgive, but we believe that forgiving is like giving a stamp of approval to the abuse. Thoughts like this unconsciously charge God with injustice. When we see our offenders “getting away” with sin, we want to take matters into our own hands, because it seems as though God is sitting back doing nothing. I know that’s how I felt, and I became so miserable that life was not worth living. Over time, God graciously intervened, but it was not an overnight event. It was a process that required me to take some very specific steps.

Face the Truth

People who live with abuse live with lies, and I was certainly no exception. I told myself that my husband couldn’t help it when he blew up, and that he was simply a product of his environment growing up. I tried to hide our violent episodes from everyone to the point that I almost seemed to hide them from myself. For over two decades I went to great lengths to avoid the truth; until one day I could avoid it no longer and found myself angrier than I had ever been. I was worn down by months of constant offenses. Doug had been calling and threatening me 15-20 times a day. I was afraid not to answer, because I felt if he didn’t get me on the phone, he would come out and make good on the threats. Normally, I would just hold the phone away from my ear and let him rant, because I learned that saying anything just made matters worse. On one particular call I heard the screaming stop and put my ear up to the phone just in time to hear him quietly threaten suicide. He slammed down the phone, and that was that. He had made similar threats in the past, but had never followed through, and usually started harassing me again within hours. However, this time I heard nothing for two whole days, and became concerned about him. I drove past his house both days and noticed that his car had not moved. On the third day I decided to take my key to our former home and go check on him. I was scared to death to go in but was so worried that I did it anyway. He was not downstairs, so I tiptoed upstairs and saw him lying deathly still on his bed. He looked extra pale, so I went up and nudged him. As soon as I did he woke up cursing at me, and I ran out as quickly as I could.

Within a few hours I got a call from the county sheriff’s department saying that Doug had come in— and charged me with criminal trespassing. They had a warrant for my arrest, and he urged me to come turn myself in. I was released on my own recognizance, but I was furious! How dare he have me charged as a criminal when I was merely concerned for his well-being? Foolishly, I decided to call and let him know just how awful his action had been, but the conversation only left me more upset. I told him he was the one who needed to be arrested for violence against me, but he said he had only hit me one time in the entire history of our relationship. He basically denied being abusive, and I couldn’t believe his nerve! My response was pure rage. By this point I was learning to turn my strong emotions over to God, so I started writing in my journal, telling Him about all the horrendous things Doug had done over the years.

As I was banging out complaints on my computer keyboard, my friend Karen happened to call to check on me. I told her about my earlier conversation with Doug, and the already lengthy list of offenses I was compiling. Much to my surprise, Karen said “Don’t forget the time he tore up the house, because he was mad at the cat.” I was confused, because I didn’t remember it at all. After she reminded me that they had provided housing, and how it had been resolved, I remembered. The odd thing was that it had only happened 12 months earlier! I was amazed that I could forget it so soon, but I believe that I had gone to such great lengths to hide it I had almost convinced myself it didn’t happen. For the most part, those of us who have been abused remember the abuse. I surely remembered the most traumatic incidents, but sometimes we lie about it so much that we begin to believe our own lies. I’ve met women who have casually told me that they had no problem forgiving their abusive spouses, but they could barely talk about what happened. Some who did open up were still making excuses or denying the severity of the abuse. That is burying anger, not dealing with it.

Entrust it to Him

After admitting the truth, we must put it in His hands. A great deal of healing happened in me the day I finally faced the truth and conceded just how horrible things had been. Let me clarify. I do not think I was healed simply because I finally told myself the truth. That was only part of it. The reason I found healing was that I was pouring out my hurts to God and committing them to Him. The truth was too overwhelming for me to handle on my own, but I knew my heart was safe with Him. Psalm 62:8 encourages us to pour out our hearts to God, and that is what I did on that day. When you face constant offenses, it will often require you to surrender your anger again and again, but it will guard your soul. Commit the offenses you have suffered to Him. It is the only way to avoid carrying them yourself, and He is far better equipped to handle them. Each night when you lay your head on your pillow, drop those heavy burdens at His feet and trust Him to fight your battles.

Choose to Forgive

For many of us, forgiving our abusers can be the toughest battle we face in the recovery process, but it is a necessary step in overcoming the anger that comes from abuse. Although it may seem that facing the truth about the hurts I had experienced would have made it harder to forgive, it actually helped, because I realized it was too big for me to handle alone. I knew I could not face the pain without God’s help. I also knew His Word commanded me to forgive, but I needed a lot of help in working through it. At the height of my anger, our ladies’ Bible study decided to work through Kay Arthur’s Lord, Heal My Hurts. When I picked up the book, I noticed a chapter in the Table of Contents entitled “How Can I Forgive?” It was the very question I had been asking myself, and this wonderful Bible study helped me figure it out. When I was able to forgive, it was as if a thousand-pound burden had been taken off my shoulders.

There were a few common misconceptions I had to overcome in order to truly forgive, and I’ve seen many other survivors struggle with them as well. As a child, I was taught to forgive and forget. When my siblings and I asked for forgiveness, we were taught to respond with, “That’s ok. I forgive you.” Then, we were expected to hug and make up. Basically, that formed my view of how the process should look, but it was a very flawed perspective, because it caused me to believe that forgiveness would always lead to reconciliation. I also thought forgiving meant I simply had to minimize or dismiss the offenses as though they had never happened. Thankfully, I was wrong on both counts. Biblical forgiveness is placing the offender in God’s hands and leaving justice to Him. It is letting go of our own need for vengeance; but it definitely is not dismissing the hurt as though it wasn’t that bad or that it never happened. Romans 12:17-21 gives us instructions on dealing with those who harm us. Romans 12: 17-19 instructs us not to repay evil with evil and not to take revenge, but to leave room for God’s wrath.

We must trust that He will handle the situation in His time and with perfect justice. Also, we need to refuse to stoop to our abusers’ level by taking revenge. Usually when we refuse to let go of our anger and desire for retaliation, it is because we don’t trust that His way of dealing with it is better than ours. We will never find peace until we realize He always has our best interest at heart, and He is working all things together for our good (Rom. 8:28-29). Regardless of how things may look in the present, there will come a day when your abuser will have to bow before Him, perhaps in great fear and trembling, and confess that He is Lord (Ph. 2:10-11). We need to trust Him to make all things right in due time.

Resolve to Believe Him

Letting go of anger and believing God is definitely a choice, and not a simple process. For me it was hard work! It meant learning how to choose His truth over my feelings, and trust that He cared deeply for me— even when it didn’t feel that way. One day a phrase from Isaiah 50:7 spoke to me. This prophecy about Jesus predicted that he would set his face “like flint” to accomplish the Father’s plan.  There was something about His determination in this verse that resonated in me because I knew that my outcome would be tied to my decision to believe Him. I decided that I would resolve to believe, no matter what happened or how I felt. I pray that as you read this, you will decide to do the same. To overcome anger, and its damaging consequences in your life, you must determine to do it God’s way rather than your own.

The Process

Dealing with anger His way requires taking several steps. It means being honest with yourself, and no longer minimizing or making excuses for the abuse. In order to truly heal, you must face and give the full weight of the burden to God. Commit your anger to God quickly, and do not let it fester. Let Him fight your battles. Sure, there may be actions you will need to take to protect yourself and your children, but you won’t have to try and control things or force your version of justice anymore. Choose to forgive your abuser, recognizing that it will set you free, and leave justice in God’s hands. Correct any thinking that is contrary to God’s truth and believe that God will redeem your sorrows. Remember that He is for you, and that even though He will not violate the free will of your abuser, He is sovereign, and He wants to use your trials for good. Finally, seek scriptures that provide instructions on wisely dealing with anger, and choose to apply them. Please see Appendix A at the end of this book for a list.

 

*Note: I do believe there comes a time in the healing process when staying angry can actually help us move forward. We have to become justifiably angry at the sin we’ve endured so that we will no longer make excuses for it or continue to subject ourselves to it. The problem comes when we allow the anger to control us rather than giving God control.

When the Abused Become Abusive

One of my passions in life is to help victims of domestic violence heal from abuse. In the twenty years I’ve been doing this work, I have seen some amazing transformations. God specializes in turning ashes to beauty, and I often tell people that those who have come through and overcome the traumas of abuse are some of the most remarkable people you’ll ever meet. They have a depth of character and faith that is unparalleled by most in this world.

But sadly, I have also seen many victims who have never healed. The vast majority of these individuals manifested symptoms like anxiety and depression, but recently, I’ve noticed a disturbing trend in my work. Lately I’ve had several encounters with former victims who have become abusive themselves.* Scripture warns us, “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person, do not associate with one easily angered, or you may learn their ways and get yourself ensnared” (Pr. 22:24-25). After living with abuse for 23 years, I know this was true for me. One day, about a year after leaving my ex, my children were misbehaving on a trip. When they didn’t straighten up after a first and second warning, I lost it. I slammed on the brakes, pulled over, and yelled at them with the harshest words I could find. The shock in their eyes said it all. They were used to seeing their dad that way, but I usually held it together better than that. As I pulled back onto the road, I felt a familiar tug on my heart. The Spirit of God within was so grieved, I finally pulled back over and apologized to my daughters for acting that way. I told them that we had all learned to be angry, but promised I would do everything in my power to unlearn and overcome it.

In the years that followed, God set me free from my anger. I learned to place my strong emotions in His loving hands, and trust His goodness so that I didn’t need to fret about the people who hurt me along the way. I learned to forgive, and leave justice in His hands. Unfortunately, some people who have experienced abuse never learn these lessons. Statistics show that children who grow up with abuse are more likely to become abusive, and the same is often true of adults coming out of abusive relationships. When people hurt us, it is natural to put up walls and try to protect ourselves. The problem is that those walls very often turn into self-made prisons. We grasp for control to ensure nobody will ever hurt us that way again, and usually the outcome is that we end up hurting others. We become quick to judge and slow to listen. We even assume evil motives in people who are genuinely on our side.

This is what I’ve been seeing in ministry lately. One lady we tried to help soon began to blame us for all of her problems. She wanted to dictate exactly how we helped her, and when we were unable to comply, she lashed out saying we were the cause of all of her troubles. The thing is that she had all of those problems before we even met her. She also had a trail of broken relationships, and had alienated nearly every friend and family member. We tried to help, but eventually realized that no matter what we did, it would never be enough. She would never be able to believe that our actions weren’t laden with selfish motives. The more comfortable she became with me, the more verbally abusive she became, and finally I was forced to cut ties altogether. As much as I wanted to help that dear woman, I couldn’t. The very act of trying ended up hurting me. This is probably the hardest part of working with victims.

Many victims who fail to heal end up repeating the same abusive patterns that caused them harm. It may not become physically abusive, but they are masters at stirring up misery. They come across as self-righteous, and critical of those who don’t agree with them. They twist your words to fit their own self-seeking agendas. Victim /abusers don’t have ears to hear. They only hear what they already believe, based on their past experiences. When you try to reason with them, it only ends up hurting you. Filled with self-pity, they use guilt to control you. They are easily offended, and assume evil motives on your part. Basically, their actions are the exact opposite of God’s description of love in I Corinthians 13:4-7. Rather than giving their hurts to God, and applying His truths for healing, these wounded abusers simply continue to give power to their abusers by carrying on their traditions.

 

 

*Note: Many abusers accuse their victims of being abusive, and often counselors wrongly believe that abuse is provoked. This article is not referring to situations like that. Those who counsel these situations must learn the dynamics of domestic violence in order to be able to discern truly abusive patterns.

Letting Bitterness Go

We’ve all met people who are clearly bitter. They usually don’t even realize it, but it spills out like poison in nearly every conversation they have. They have been wronged, and usually have good reason to be upset. The problem is that the anger they harbor ends up destroying them rather than the ones who offended them. Jesus told us to love our enemies, and to pray for those who persecute us, but that is so difficult to do! When I was going through my divorce, I rehearsed his offenses in my head like a well-worn record. The more I thought about it, the angrier I became until I was completely miserable. I was so stressed and depressed that my physical health began to decline. I knew I was supposed to forgive, but the offenses continued and it just seemed impossible. In my flesh it certainly would have been, but God was so gentle and kind in dealing with my heart. The bible study group I was in just happened to choose to study Kay Arthur’s book, Lord, Heal my Hurts. As I browsed through the chapters I could see that it dealt with forgiving those who have wronged you. I asked, “Lord, how can I forgive him after all he has done?” As much as I hated the thought of just “letting him off the hook,” I knew that holding onto my bitterness would only prolong my misery. Perhaps the book would provide some wisdom that would make it easier.

As I plunged into Arthur’s study of Jeremiah and Matthew 18, God was so faithful to remind me that he was my healer. My anger had made sick emotionally and physically, and I knew I had to be free. Somehow as I surrendered to his Spirit and the truths in his Word, my heart began to change. When I recognized God’s amazing grace lavished on me, I began to realize that the sins in my heart were far more numerous than the sins that had been committed against me, and yet Jesus had willingly laid his life down for me. By the time I finished that book, the question I asked God was “How can I not forgive him?” It was powerful and completely liberating. It seemed as though the weight of the entire world was lifted off my shoulders, and even the physical ills I had been experiencing cleared up. I was free! I also learned that I really hadn’t “let him off the hook” either. I had merely entrusted him to God, who was much more able to handle it.

When I was angry, I was wishing that somehow he could hurt as much as I hurt. I wanted him to pay the penalty for his offenses, but when I let go of that desire, and began to pray God’s best for him, something very odd happened. God seemed to step in. There had been one situation that seemed completely unfair to me, but one day shortly after I let it all go I received some news. It seemed as if God had repaid my husband for what he had done. He suffered consequences that I never could have caused, and I feel almost completely sure God waited until I let go to allow those consequences to occur. Rather than feeling vindicated or happy about my husband’s loss, I felt a sense of complete awe that my God would go to battle on my behalf. I knew I could continue to trust him for the outcome, and even though things remained difficult for some time, I learned so much from that experience. I learned that my amazing God was for me, and that he hated the things that happened to my children and me as much as I did. He could deal with my husband with perfect love that would include consequences. I realized that he willingly came down and suffered the greatest injustice of all so that he could enter into my suffering. He forgave his offenders at the cross, and asked the Father to forgive them as well.

Knowing we have a God who has experienced the worst of human suffering is a powerful thing. It means we can run to him and find compassion. “For we do not have a high priest who is unable to sympathize with our weaknesses, but one who in every respect has been tempted as we are, yet without sin” (Heb. 4:15). He knows betrayal firsthand. He knows abuse, and he knows excruciating pain. He experienced it all, but never harbored bitterness and hatred in his heart. I ran across this passage in my quiet time today, and it reminded me of how Jesus handled persecution. “You shall not hate your brother in your heart, but you shall reason frankly with your neighbor, lest you incur sin because of him. You shall not take vengeance or bear a grudge against the sons of your own people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself: I am the LORD” (Lev. 19:17-18). Jesus loved those who offended him enough to try and “reason frankly” with them. He never sugarcoated his messages to the religious leaders, but he never wished them harm either. Instead he mourned over them (Mt. 23:37), and continued to speak directly to all who would listen.

Think about the difference between his example and what most of us do. When someone hurts us, we tend to only look at ourselves. We fail to consider the loss our offenders are experiencing. Obviously, they have chosen to break their relationship with us, but even worse, they have broken relationship with God. As his children, we should encourage others to be reconciled to God, even as Jesus did. Yet, most of us lash out at those who hurt us. Some of us are more explosive, and others of us just harbor anger in bitterness in our hearts. Rather than following the protocol set forth in Matthew 18:15-17, and talking to the offender, we talk about him or her in the form of gossip or slander. Love can be a messy thing. The most loving action when someone sins against us is confrontation, and perhaps taking it to the church if that person refuses to listen. (Warning, in cases of abuse, this is not always possible. Still, you must choose to give it to God, and seek godly help from someone who understands the dynamics of abuse.)  When we fail to follow God’s protocol, we hurt ourselves by harboring hatred in our hearts. Psalm 37:8 indicates, that only brings harm. I love the quote, “Unforgiveness is like taking poison and hoping that the other person dies.” That is so true.

When I held onto my bitterness, every relationship in my life was affected, including my relationship with God, because underneath it all I was questioning his goodness. I was wondering why he allowed such evil to occur in our lives, and completely disregarded his ability to redeem. Hebrews 12:15 tells us that allowing a root of bitterness to grow defiles many. When I come across bitter people, I can see it all around them—like poison spilling out. Nobody enjoys being around a bitter person, so most of them end up unconsciously alienating themselves from others, and then becoming angrier because people don’t seem to want to help them. Even though the bitter person may just think they are angry with the person who hurt them only, their anger comes out at everyone. They seem angry when things go well for others, and even angrier when trials come their way. Truly it does nothing to “win friends and influence people.” It merely causes most people to feel uncomfortable, especially those who are walking in a season of blessing. Eventually, it becomes like a self-fulfilling prophecy. They carry the attitude that life has been unfair, people have been unfair, and God doesn’t seem to care. And that is where the real problem lies. Yes, life can be sorely unfair, and people can be too, but to apply that rationale to our Lord is to choose faulty thinking. It is to choose to believe a lie rather than the truth, and truth is the only thing that can make us free.

Choosing to believe God’s love and goodness towards us is crucial in overcoming bitterness. We must remember that he promises to work all things together for our good when are committed to him (Rom. 8:28). We must choose to believe he wants to even use our pain for good, and we must release the anger to him, knowing that he is far more able to handle our offender than we are. We must choose to stop “drinking the poison” of bitterness, and instead release our lives and the lives of our offenders to God, knowing that he is for us (Rom. 8:31). He held nothing back in winning our redemption.

I often direct angry people to the story of Joseph in Genesis. If anyone had a right to be bitter he did. Yet, when it was all said and done, God vindicated him, and the brothers who had abused and abandoned him stood before him trembling. He had the power to get revenge as they stood before him pleading for forgiveness and mercy. For most bitter souls that would have been sweet, but somehow in all he had suffered Joseph had refused bitterness. When his brothers pleaded for mercy, Joseph’s response was “Don’t be afraid. Am I in the place of God? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good to accomplish what is now being done, the saving of many lives” (Gen. 50:19-20).

Joseph did not become bitter, because he recognized the sovereign hand of God in his difficult circumstances. He could have chosen to dwell on the bad things that had happened to him, and he probably never would have left prison. That’s exactly what happens to those who allow bitterness to rule their hearts. They remain imprisoned in the past, in the “what ifs” and even in the desire to get even. The bottom line is that those who choose bitterness choose to disregard the promises in God’s Word, and follow their feelings instead. Freedom from bitterness comes down to a choice to believe God’s Word over emotions. It basically comes down to our core beliefs. Do we believe his Word or not? If we choose to remain bitter, then apparently our belief in God is merely intellectual assent, because in reality we are living by our own reasoning. Even though we know Romans 8:28, we can’t imagine how the thing we are suffering could be used for good. I think the best answer to that can be found in Romans 8:29. His plan is to “conform us to the image of his son.”

When we choose to focus on God rather than ourselves in the midst of suffering, he will use it to change us and draw us closer to himself. Somewhere in the process our perspective changes, and we begin to recognize just how temporary the painful circumstances are. We realize that everything on this earth will disappoint at one time or another, but he is forever faithful. Suffering is a beautiful opportunity to know him better. The Apostle Paul stated that he had lost everything for the cause of the Gospel, but that he considered it all rubbish in comparison to knowing God (Phil. 3:8). Only those who have learned to release their bitterness to God can know the wonder Paul is describing here. I often tell people I am grateful for the pain and trials I have experienced, because when all I had left was him, I found out just how wonderful he is. I would not trade my relationship with him for anything this world has to offer, and experiencing great loss drove me directly into his loving arms (once I let go of the bitterness). Hallelujah I am blessed!

If you have experienced hurt that has left you angry and bitter, I pray that right now you will be willing to release it to the Lover of your soul. I pray that you will recognize this time as a time of opportunity, even as painful as it might be, and I pray that you will choose to believe God’s truths over your own emotions. I highly recommend Kay Arthur’s book, Lord, Heal My Hurts. It will help adjust your perspective to a more biblical one– if you are willing. And in the end, willingness is the key. God will meet you where you are, and enable you to forgive. I could never have done it on my own. He stands ready and willing to help you when you turn to him. He has a good plan for your life, and knowing him is the greatest treasure of all. Dear friend, I pray you will run to his loving arms right now, and lay all your burdens down before him. He loves you. He sees what has happened, and hates it as much as you do. Yet, he will not let it go to waste– he will redeem it and use it for good. Choose to trust him now.

For our momentary light affliction is producing for us an absolutely incomparable eternal weight of glory.  So we do not focus on what is seen, but on what is unseen; for what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.  2 Cor. 4:17-18

At the Heart of Every Conflict

It never ceases to amaze me how blind people can be when it comes to conflict– always ready to blame and never willing to look at themselves. I shouldn’t be surprised, because I did it for most of my life, but oh my goodness, things go so much better when we are willing to be honest with ourselves, and when we get down off our “thrones” and leave judgment to God.

JoyfulSurrender.com

Lord, I am simply in awe of how gracious You are. My efforts are small and pathetic, yet You respond in abundant and powerful ways. It blows my mind, and I am forever grateful. My flesh and the world tell me how inadequate I am on a daily basis, but when I get into your presence that condemnation melts away as I bask in your sweet love. It is amazing that my perfect God can embrace such imperfection, and yet in our human condition we rarely extend such grace to others. Instead, we tend to see others’ faults while ignoring our own. We act as though we actually deserve your abundant grace. There is so little humility in this world—even among your people. You called the religious leaders “blind guides” and I would venture to say nothing has changed in 2000 years. I catch myself focusing on the “specks” in…

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