Thanks so much for taking time to visit my website and blog. I hope you will find something here that will encourage you in your daily walk with God. I spent many years as a Christian living in defeat and despair, mainly fueled by my self-centered view of God. Although I knew Jesus called me to take up my cross and follow Him daily, deep down I really wanted Him to serve me. In my mind, He was more like a genie in a bottle than the sovereign Lord of the universe. I thought that if I professed all the right words and served Him faithfully, He would surely be obligated to bless me. Instead, I found myself suffering terribly as the result of my divided heart. In my quest for happiness, I had surrendered my heart to created things rather than God, and the result was disastrous. The marriage I had made the center of my life fell apart as a result of abuse and infidelity. I lost most of my worldly possessions, and just barely escaped alive with my two girls. All the things I had looked to for comfort and peace had failed me miserably, and there was nothing left but God. It was a terrible and wonderful place to be, because for the first time in my life I realized just how desperately I needed Him. We are all equally desperate, but we are masters at fooling ourselves into believing we are not. We grasp for happiness and control, and all the while the things we seek for satisfaction are very things that enslave us. Yet, our Heavenly Father is patiently waiting for us to let go of the shallow substitutes and to embrace Him. It is in that place of total surrender we find the greatest joy of all– the joy of knowing Him!
“But what things were gain to me, these I have counted loss for Christ. Yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them as rubbish, that I may gain Christ…” Phil. 3:7-8