I’m so grateful that our churches seem to be waking up and responding better to domestic abuse these days. But for every church we see working on getting educated we see many more still resorting to counsel like this. Please continue to pray with us that our churches will wake up and show God’s love and hope to those who are oppressed.
A few weeks ago I posted a simple question to survivors of domestic violence in a few online forums. The question was, ” Could you shareexamples of bad counsel you’ve received from churches and counselors?” In less than an hour I had over 50 responses. Below arejust some the answers I received.
- Pray more, have more sex, ask God to show you what you’re doing to make him so angry.
- “Read this book on how to be a better wife.” “Just stop pushing his buttons; you know what they are.”
- You need to treat your husband like he has special needs. Step back from things so you can give him your full attention.
- “He never meant you any harm. Just trust God- don’t fight for anything in the divorce settlement. You are bitter- you need to forgive him.
- ” Well, I don’t think he was TRYING to kill you…
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JoyfulSurrender.com 
Thanks for posting this again. I shared it last time, and will do so again. This message needs to be kept on the front burner, so to speak, until more people “get it”!
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Around 2018 end was the first time I opened up to my Pastor for about an hour. I begged him to talk with my husband and he promised. About a year later, 2019, I followed up with my Ps. to find out whether he had spoken with my husband because nothing had changed. My Ps. had not. He told me, “pray gor your husband,” nonchalantly laughing at the things I was sharing with him.
I spoke with another Ps. Wife and women leader, she told me to pray and bear it because God wants to use my suffering to change my husband someday.
Went to another sister I respect, she made me explain to her husband amidst my protest to talk to him. Just as I feared, he minimized it, accused me of not being a mature christian and accusing me of thinking bad about my husband.
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It’s very hard to open up, isn’t it? Because of the response you receive, afterwards you almost wish you hadn’t! But keep trying until you find someone who WILL help you. God does have true advocates here and there. Pray for one. He sent me one before I even realized I was being abused. And I’m forever grateful!! May the Lord send help speedily.
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