Anyone who’s lived with abuse knows what it’s like to have their words distorted, to be accused of thinking things they weren’t even thinking. In counseling we call it assigning motives. This happens when one partner starts judging the other’s intentions. So many times my abuser accused me of having evil intentions towards him when nothing could have been further from the truth. Generally, I put his interests far above my own, but he always saw my intentions as evil. This twisting of words and distortion of intentions kills relationships, and those who face it have little power to change things.
Uniformed people helpers tell us that if we would just win them over with a quiet and gentle spirit or bless them enough, they’ll come around. Nothing could be further from the truth. They don’t understand the dynamics of abuse, but apparently the writer of this psalm did, and Jesus certainly did.
No matter what people tell you, dear friend, He understands what you’re going through. In fact, He’s been through it too. He loves you and sees your heart. Entrust it to Him.
“Then the Pharisees went and plotted together how they might trap Him in what He said.” MATTHEW 22:15
“Therefore, since we have a great high priest who has passed through the heavens, Jesus the Son of God, let us hold fast our confession. For we do not have a high priest who cannot sympathize with our weaknesses, but One who has been tempted in all things as we are, yet without sin. Therefore let us draw near with confidence to the throne of grace, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help in time of need.” HEBREWS 4:14-16
One thought on “How Twisting Words Destroys Relationships”
Reblogged this on JoyfulSurrender.com and commented:
In the last 5-10 years I see this happening not only in individual relationships, but on a societal level. Our nation has become so divided as we automatically assume evil motives on the part of anyone who disagrees with us. On social media people judge and condemn one another for simply having different opinions. Yesterday we posted an article about how difficult it is for some victims of abuse to wear the face masks this epidemic requires, and on social media, people are posting that anyone who fails to wear a mask is selfish and murderous. Surely, we can do better as a society. I was raised to always see both sides of the story and to empathize with others, but that ability seems to be disappearing in 21st century America. I pray that as a people we will learn to stop jumping to conclusions and judging people who happen to think differently. It’s not healthy for relationships and it’s not healthy for our country.